A Goodbye to One of Our Own

“What was once enjoyed and deeply loved, We can never lose.
For all that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” ~Helen Keller

On April 18th, Kelly, her partner, Bonnie, and I all bade farewell to Bonnie’s mother, Rosemarie Lyons. She died in her favorite place in the world—her home overlooking the Hudson River—just 17 days after being diagnosed with late-stage pancreatic cancer.

Rosemarie’s passing leaves a void that runs deep and wide. She was a sister, a mother, an aunt, and a friend. Wise beyond even her 82 years, she was also a cherished advisor and advocate for so many who benefited from her compassionate and generous counsel.

Rosemarie’s friends, family, and acquaintances will remember her not only for her beauty, but also for her intelligence, quick wit, and kindness. Those who knew Rosemarie best will also remember her for the unwavering grace under pressure she displayed during the most difficult moments of her life, including those that occurred closest to its end. Then, as always, the combination of Rosemarie’s courage and strength made her a gentle force to be reckoned with. As someone who knew Rosemarie well once told her: “I see your velvet gloves. And inside them, iron fists.”

Rosemarie enjoyed inviting friends and strangers alike to visit her home and spend hours enjoying the peace and quiet one finds there. During the last several years, I was fortunate enough spend hours on Rosemarie’s porch, looking out over the river together with her and her radically devoted Maltese, Tortilla—that is, when the two of them were not too busy enjoying a lunch out or shopping at Talbot’s. Once the COVID pandemic hit, Rosemarie and I regularly chatted by phone, covering such weighty topics as insulting ads directed at mature women’s “creepy” arms and wondering why men never received the same attention. Still laughing, we ended every call with “I love you.” Like so many others, I find myself heartbroken at Rosemarie’s loss and yet enormously grateful to have known and loved her.

Rosemarie is predeceased by her high school sweetheart and husband, Harry, her son, Christopher, and her sister, Patty. In addition to Bonnie, Rosemarie is also survived by her sister, Jojo, as well as nieces and nephews, grandnieces and grandnephews, and her newborn great-grandniece, Harper. ■