Look With Your Heart:
Lessons From My Time With My Grandmother

By Mia Tagano

There is a quote somewhere “look with your heart not with your eyes” – I love this and try whenever possible to include my heart as I go throughout the day, especially when meeting new people.

Recently, my 94 year old grandmother was moved from hospital to a rehabilitation/care facility. I have been visiting her almost daily. She has dementia and has no short term memory –she doesn’t know I came yesterday but is grateful to see me today. We laugh easy together, play solitaire in partnership, high-five with both hands when she “wins” at the end.. When I go to leave, I kiss her face she giggles and thanks me for coming to visit her. I thank her for her love. It is an intimate and beautiful period of our life together.

My grandmother shares a room with another woman.. I say hello, introduce myself, let people know that I am Mutsuko’s granddaughter, and then let them have their privacy

Later when I left, I hugged and kissed my grandmother good-bye and wished her sweet dreams. And, then took the hand of the woman and wished her sweet dreams as well. She looked at me with such sweetness, with gratitude.

Slowly, without words, we were building a relationship based on kindness. Yesterday, I said my usual hellos but this time I included Andrea in the conversation. One word at a time, I said. You understand! She said. After this, she slowly shared more about her life and I found out more of who this woman is, more about her spirit. And, all of this happened in the span of 30 minutes. Amazing. It doesn’t take long to make a real intimate genuine human connection with someone. It only takes stopping for a moment, listening deeply, and looking with your heart rather than your eyes. YES. Moment to moment. Step by step.

Two weeks after she finished writing this story, a beautiful piece honoring the generosity with which she shared her grandmother’s spirit and their beautiful relationship with the world, Mia’s grandmother peacefully passed away surrounded by Mia and other loved ones.

servicespace.org, Sep 01, 2019 ■