Want to raise empathetic kids? Get them a dog.

The unexpected developmental benefits of having a pet

By: Regina McNamara

The newest research in empathy in healthcare has as its conclusion an unfortunate trend. While patients and families value empathy highest on the list of valued traits in their health care providers, these same professionals pay it scant attention.

I was fortunate to learn about the program Empathetics. LLC and to spend time with its director Helen Riess MD, In Boston last year. Her commitment to the science/art of empathy and her comprehensive research demonstrates that patients who receive empathic care from their health care providers have better outcomes and more satisfaction at lower costs.

Fascinated by this topic and wanting to explore it further, I asked Dr Riess how do we teach or encourage empathy in children??

She thought for a bit, and replied that there may be little if any research on the topic.

So, as a former owner of a pet therapy dog and an avid observer of children, I was thrilled to discover this article on pets and empathy for children.

Enjoy…

By Denise Daniels April 14, 2015

Denise Daniels is a child development and parenting expert specializing in the social and emotional development of children.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/04/14/want-to-raise-empathetic-kids-get-them-a-dog/

One of the greatest lessons of my life came from a dog. It was Christmas Eve, 1989, and our house was burning to the ground. As we stood in the snow in our jammies, our Newfoundland, Alfie, kept running back toward the house to make sure all the children were out and that every one was safe. (We were, thankfully.) It was the most selfless, unconditional act of love I’d ever witnessed.

While hopefully not everyone’s experience will be that dramatic, pets can be invaluable at teaching families, especially children, “emotional intelligence,” or EQ—a measure of empathy and the ability to understand and connect with others. More than intelligence, EQ is the best indicator of a child’s likely success in school. In fact, kindergarten teachers have reported that EQ is more important than the ability to read or hold a pencil. And unlike IQ, which is fixed at birth, EQ can grow and be nurtured, and what better way than with a loving pet who is a gift to the whole family?

Caring for a pet draws a self-absorbed child away from himself or herself. Empathy also involves the ability to read nonverbal cues — facial expressions, body language, gestures — and pets offer nothing but nonverbal cues. Hearing a kitten yowl when it wants to eat or seeing a dog run to the door when it wants to go outside get kids to think, “What are their needs, and what can I do to help?” How then, can a childhood pet boost a young persons empathy?

By teaching responsibility and boosting self-esteem
The old “I’m not getting a pet because I’ll end up taking care of it” refrain misses the point. Giving a child age-appropriate tasks and offering them positive feedback when they accomplish them, gives kids a feeling of competence that can boost their self-esteem, research says. It’s almost never too soon to start: When the UPS man comes to my daughter’s house, her 2-year-old daughter already knows to tell their Bernese Mountain Dog, “Riley, go to your rug!”

By reducing stress.
For years the Delta Society has used trained Golden retrievers in children’s support groups. Then keep from A therapy dog to relax. A therapy dog would sit in front of an emotional child and put its head in the child’s lap. As the child started petting the dog, you could visibly see the child relax. We studied the blood pressure readings of the dogs and the kids, and the experience lowered the blood pressure of both.

By helping a child learn to read
Really. Reading dramatically expands a child’s understanding of the experiences and emotions of others, but learning to read can be stressful. And while reading out loud is critical for literacy, it can be torture for a kid who’s intimidated or embarrassed. The answer? Read to your pet. With a no fear of judgment. Lori Friesen of the University of Alberta has studied the use of therapy dogs to promote literacy learning in classrooms, including with her own dog, Tango, in her second-grade classroom. Friesen notes that “situational interest,” such as adding the novelty of a dog to a learning environment, can help capture children’s attention. Therapy dogs in particular offer a “multi-sensory learning experience.” They’re sociable, respond eagerly to humans and “possess a capacity for limited comprehension of oral language.” That helps.

By helping children express their emotions.
Many teachers report that children, when asked whom they would turn to with a problem, regularly named their pets. That is not a surprise. in New Orleans after Katrina as well as Sandy Hook school shooting tragedy, children were helped by being able to tell this story over and over until they gained control of an out of control situation. That’s where a loving animal is invaluable.

And unlike IQ, which is fixed at birth, EQ can grow and be nurtured, and what better way than with a loving pet who is a gift to the whole family? ■